HELLO! This is QianQian's place!
and ****** is the love.
Qian.
4FOUR'09
J105'10
Amkss;Redcrosser
YJC;Volleyballer
♥ the piano and you:D
Photos!
Dead end.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010, 7:01 AM
Today I woke up feeling empty.A pain in the heart no one will ever understand, so much that it felt literal.
I hate this feeling.
I feel really alone now.
Friends do help in cheering me up.
I admit I'd have collapse long long ago without the existence of friends who care.
But things are getting so lousy now that at times I don't even wanna vent or share it with friends to feel better.
That even friends can't help me anymore.
Not because they don't understand.
But rather because I don't feel like mentioning it, remembering it,
all I'm doing now to keep myself going is to continue living in that dream world.
That's the reason why I don't use com as much nowadays,
not at all unless I'm doing pw.
At times I just don't wanna see any updates from you.
But then, I still wanna know how you're doing, if you're fine.
My optimism level is taking its toll.
I feel I cannot hold on any longer.
I don't know what will happen.
Especially with my promos coming in just 39days.
I know beneath that cold surface you still care.
I know you want me to score well too.
If not you wouldn't have wanted to share with me your notes and everything.
Hey.
Its getting really really tough trying to guess you're real thoughts.
To know how you really feel.
I've put in all my knowledge about you what I know about you and all I gathered was to trust that the girl I always know never changed.
I know you're still that same old person.
But I need assurance, you know it.
Assurance that you can't give me now because... (you and I know why)
Was reading some of your old stuff.
And I remember around feb/march this year,
there was this 1month plus we didn't really talk at all cause we were both busy with our stuff and everything.
And I think I said something in my blog that I start to feel empty can't study can't stand it and everything.
And you said,
"I don't understand why your perseverence and positive mindset falls so easily. Still, I believe in some things that will last."
Hey, I was really really happy.
And till now, I don't know what you're thinking and everything but I really hope this belief is still within us.
We've gone through so much..
Sweet and sour.
We can't deny we've walked through thick and thin together,
overcame many many obstacles which made us both stronger than many teenagers out there who're still crying over stupid small quarrels with their other half.
We can't deny this love is true.
It isn't like any secondary school/jc people steading for fun, we both know it.
We know how much each other mean.
Yes it's difficult for now, but we both know, its real.
I need my daily dose of motivation and sweetness again manz.
Like whennnn.
Ahhh.
I need assurance that after promos, things will... yknw?
yeah you will know what I'm saying cause only you can read me like a book. (:
Haisssssssss..
Seems like you're the only person who can make me smile now.
Like my mood, my life, my world and everything around me is in your hands now.
You've no idea how a single word from you can just make me smile and have the motivation to study full speed till promos.
How you can change everything..
I've a lot more to say, endless..
but forget it..
Anyway it's 7am. Time to sleep already.
And if you even read this,
please at the least promise me to take good care of yourself.
You need your health to fight the promos too.
Drink some warm liangcha to cure your flu.
Love you.