HELLO! This is QianQian's place!
and ****** is the love.
Qian.
4FOUR'09
J105'10
Amkss;Redcrosser
YJC;Volleyballer
♥ the piano and you:D
Photos!
Forcing it in?
Thursday, February 24, 2011, 2:56 AM
Loser much. Buay ta han!!HOHO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERYL!!! HAHAH EXCITED TO EAT OUR CAKE TMRW :D
Tsktsk this slacky me sucks.
Ponned school today & went town shopping -.-
Haven't been studying for 2-3weeks & I'm lagging behind by 3-4chapters per subj???
Wth what am I doing when everyone else is mugging!!
All I do everyday is stay back till 8plus 9 to play vb or slack! ))):
Crap why does it seem like it will never be possible for me to be just close friends w girls I find fun to be with.
It's like it will always end up being smth more than that?
Maybe I'm just too charming. HAHA OK BYE OFF TO BED W POOHPOOHHH <3
Long time since I've felt this good
Sunday, February 20, 2011, 4:15 AM
Days are getting happier and happier really v happy this whole week!!Ok I guess partly or mainly cause of ec :D
Love it but of course when I say it's fun it means how unproductive the whole week has been.
Staying back on 1 3 5 for training and slacking everyday ):
But really love just hanging around w the vballers + the Ls always so fun & relaxing(:
Yay I like my life alot now!!
So so happy on friday!
Talked to ec! She damn cute keep jumping around hahaha oops.
and omg she let down her hair chio max :x
-
Studied & Blackswan w xy today!
Omg I really liked the plot though it was gross but I was brave as usual HAHA.
And xiao ying ying is so funny!!
I really really feel happy when she does her work after me teaching her haha I feel the effort for the whole day isn't wasted!
sense of satisfaction ya haha but it's really fun hanging out w her!! :D
Ok time to sleep tmrw must chiong chem & gp.
Been neglecting physics for 2months. Fuck!!
Super excited for sailing camp w everyone! ^^
and the clique of 4 HAHAHA WOO
ISLY
2:59 AM
Love this song & lyrics (:
Love youu ^^
Monday, February 14, 2011, 2:16 AM
Sucha longggg time since I've used the com.But doesn't mean I've been mugging. I have not, sian.
Most unproductive weekend ever.
Yesterday outing w L gang today help kwt bake her vday cake!
Didn't do a single homework this week I swear I'm just gonna be screwed by teachers especially edward heng tmrw -.-
Omg I don't know if friday was just my day or what.
It's like all of a sudden 3 different people praised me hehehehehe as you know I will happy until~
SOMEMORE THE MAIN THING IS
One of them is my EC!!!!
She say I cute omg!! haha! :/
OH YA GOOD NEWS.
THERE'S FINALLY A DIV COMPETITION FOR VBALL LE!!!
Coach helped us get that chance I guess. YAYE LOVE HIM!!
And one last thing.
I'm really damn damn happy that I'm one of the few who passed maths test! :D
Not showing off or what but at least like you said, efforts really do pay off(:
Sigh 2nd year of vday alone even when we're together )):
Everyone's consoling me saying don't worry next year you & her can celebrate tgt one~~ Hope so huh! ;)
Oh just wanna say.
Doesn't mean I don't use the com/update means I don't care anymore hor!!
I still stalk you using friends' iphones -.-
Headache again off to sleep!
Intensive training w karen starting from tmrw woots!
Happy valentines Bby! <3 Nxt yr ok.. ^^
-
Thursday, February 3, 2011, 3:27 AM
I was supposed to mug now since I've to 守岁 but ):Anyway I love this song's melody ttm!! All or nothing, somehow makes me tear a little ):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlhF3nGgTV4
Love walking in the rain alone at midnight
Sunday, January 30, 2011, 1:00 PM
Ok I need at least 2 more tops and I'm done! Super lazy & not excited to shop this year I don't know why.But I super loveeee the uniqlo jeans I bought ytd hehe :D
It kinda suck when everything around you goes wrong all at the same time.
But still I'm thankful I always have a few people that always care & are there(:
Count myself lucky to have them or unlucky to need them?
I swear you don't know what I'm going through this past 1.5years.
Holding on isn't as easy as it seems k.
Especially when you fucking keep giving me mixed signals or signals that destroy the faith.
When close friends ask I don't even know what to say.
To say & rant or just bottle it inside.
Many a times I just reply with superficial crap answers, not because I wanna hide anything,
but rather I really really don't want to think/emo about it.
and I hateee showing a down side so I really rather act like everything's a joke to me and laugh it off though it's really not funny at all.
I'm trying really really hard not to think.
So please. Don't make me break down.
And it sucks ttm to see you and everyone else in other jcs chionging so so hard and myself slacking here!!
But how to start when I'm so affected? tell me?
I can never understand how girls or rather passives can do it so easily - put everything aside and focus.
Damn no matter how hard I try I never succeed in this.
I have a bad bad habit that I have to change soon to save myself from all these crap.
Shouldn't have listened to that song.
It really hurts. so much.
And I don't think I can ever forgive you if this is the way you want things to end.
You broke all your promises. Fucking liar.
Afraid
Saturday, January 29, 2011, 2:17 PM
Resisted the com for 2weeks and I shouldn't have on the com to see things that affect me even more now. Fuck this shit.Every single time when I believed things would end well you just have to show me it won't.
Bet all that's in your mind now is whoever that crap is & studies & all but never ever me.
Please don't be the one teaching me never to trust again k?
Really really have to discipline myself to become someone that no one can affect. It's like my priorities are all screwed up now and everything's more important than studies now?
I hate this.
If I didn't treasure the friendship I wouldn't even have bothered explaining.
Memories
Saturday, January 15, 2011, 2:55 AM
I don't care what you're thinking, I'd always keep the faith. in us.Stop fucking thinking so much
2:54 AM
Getting really bad headaches & emotional struggles from thinking so muchabout friends and everything
I should really stop.
And some assholes out there should just reflect and stop being such a pain in the ass
make me pissed and headache worse only
Sometimes your true friends might not be the ones closest to you or the ones you enjoy going out most with. Open your eyes manz, don't put in effort in the wrong people.
But blah don't give a damn about all these now just don't come and annoy me.
-
It really sucks when I don't know a single thing.
And I'm really really thankful that vivien was there for me just now, cause I really felt bottled up.
Had to let it all out but can't scream in my condo -.-
So thanks(:
I feel pathetic that my "best" friends aren't even people I can rely on every single time
but I really don't fucking care now cause all I'm worrying about now is you
I myself know best why God made this happen again.
But why does it hurt so badly this time round..
Follow your heart
Friday, January 14, 2011, 10:03 PM
Did something happen again? ):I don't fucking give a damn about any single soul now other than you k. Please be fine..
Feeling useless as usual. Sorry I really don't know a thing.
Then again maybe you are meant for me. Just that God's making you this hard to get so that I'll treasure you.. I hope.
The whole world's making use of me
3:10 AM
I don't know for what reason you came into my life to become someone this important yet I can't haveFor what God brought you to me to bring you away from me again
But whatever it is please.. at least for now, spare my A's.
-
I need to know who my true friends are.
Or maybe I do, just that I'm still too immature to know to treasure those who are worth.
Or most probably
there aren't even any.
Honestly when I've troubles now
I don't even know who to turn to
And I don't know who I can trust or talk to
You know smth?
Blogging is actually the greatest comfort/console I can find
The best 'person' I can vent to
Pathetic
Maybe my expectations' too high
I need someone who's like the one who was always by my side
I had the best feeling of the best listening ear who could give me the best comfort
Maybe that's the reason I can't settle for anything lesser now
But I know it's impossible unless there's special feelings within
Friends are never like that. I don't think I'll ever find one anymore.
-
Seriously stop treating me like shit
Time to stop being too easy-going or joker before every single person loses their respect for me
It kinda suck.
I feel made use of.
Forget it why am I treating life so seriously?? I shouldn't right.
Should just go around flirting fucking everyone hurting everyone and do whatever I like. Zzz.
Looking at somebody's case, it suddenly dawned on me
Why am I whining so much about not having a sibling when others don't even have parents
Seriously, be contented already.
-
Selfish like I said so a year back?
Or maybe to you, I wasn't even the one. Right from the start.
Prioritise
Monday, January 10, 2011, 12:32 AM
Ok I'm nervous for all those taking O's results tmrw!!Hope all my juniors come my school HAHA OK TOUCHWOOD I'M LIKE CURSING THEM.
Many people having thoughts about hell year mugging year starting from tmrw but oi don't be so pessimistic leh!!
Where got so serious as if you can't even shop/play/rest for a day starting from tmrw like that!
Most of us June hols at least will shop few days one loh!
Might be a mugging year but doesn't mean it won't be fun right!
Cheer up be positive don't so dreadful! While studying we still can have fun what ^^
Don't stress ):
Must find happiness in whatever you're doing including homework, make life easier for yourself :D
Hope it'll be a good year.
You're my motivation for A's(:
Wtf
Sunday, January 9, 2011, 11:05 PM
Damn I feel guilty & shockedSo scary please I was walking downhill to Nex 20minutes ago & 2boys suddenly came sprinting behind me
I was like "Fuck fuck pls don't have a knife pls pls don't slash me"
Then I jumped aside to let them pass cause they were so frigging fast and scary
Then this indian man came screaming some tamil words chasing them I was like wth? Robbery?
There were like others around and no one stopped them lehz
Ok actually I was nearest to them like 1cm away only I could've stopped them but SIAO LATER THEY GOT KNIFE HOW I will die lehh ):
Didn't think bout it till I came back from Nex and saw the indian talking to 6policemen
Omgggg how actually I still recognize the boys' face leh!!
But I can't possibly go tell them now right like..
I think the indian will slap me for letting them pass through :/
And find trouble for myself only later they thought I accomplice lol!!
Ok whatever I was just horrified.
The end hope the 2bastards get caught!! I bet they hiding at some hdb stairs loh.
Cause if it's me I'll hide there haha.
I finished a burger in 2min no idea how I did that but I'm still starving now hungryyyy ):
Anticipation
7:23 PM
School's officially starting tmrw I don't know why but all in me is excitement! No monday blues at all for once!!
Guess I still prefer studying/being made to study than slacking at home/shopping.
Cause you should know I've no self discipline at all leaving me to myself for a month means play for a month -.-
Was thinking about A levels just now.
Thinking really really cannot be affected or anything and end up having results like O's.
Cause O's whatever the results I still can go lousy jc/poly but A's if I don't get really good ones where the hell am I supposed to go? Like if I can't get into local uni how am I gonna survive?
Really can't afford to let anyone or anything have the ability to affect me anymore, at least just for this year.
Like try to be selfish in my own world till after A's.
Hope I can I'm always so easily affected ):
And I wanna get my macbook soon but I really really v scared it'll affect me.
Like I'll keep using and not study howw should I buy now!!
Anw I'm sooo happy I could understand most of the concepts in tuition just now :D
Makes me motivated to study now woo so bye!
New girl coming to our class tmrw looks pretty from fb I'm excited! Haha we could be best friends!! ^^
:DDD
12:41 AM
Prettayeeee!! I swear long hair pretty girls make me go super insane & high Lol :/The yoghurt girl rmbr-ed me omg!!
She was like eh it's you ah! that time you came right!
WOOHOO MEANS SHE GOT NOTICE ME HAHAHA.
Swimming & gym-ing w karen tmrw morning gonna do this every sunday!
Hope I can be determined enough.
I am so angry I cannot do a certain guy push-up that even levonne can do?? wth this is weird hor!!
Must be just now too full or smth lah hahaha.
So I'm gonna start training for prom's sake too.
Resolution: MUST GROW TALLER & FITTER BEFORE PROM!! ):
YAYE I SUPER GOT STUDY MOOD NOW!
And all of a sudden I feel like doing newspaper articles reflections ._.
So woo shall finish 10articles for GP hmwk tonight!!
Ahh can you wait till I have the chance to play with it before you plan to snip it off ):
Or can you donnnn't pleaseee I really like it alot alot )): Now so nice.... ):
I feel terrible.
Saturday, January 8, 2011, 1:45 AM
All this while ever since last year I've been forcing myself to be a cheerful optimistic person treasure life love life. But honestly how long more? How long can I withstand always having this unhappiness at the back of my mind & never being able to turn things around.My heart's really in a mess. You don't understand how troubled I feel every single day.
I wonder how you feel knowing I'm feeling terrible or do you still care? like how you did?
I hate uncertainties.
At a loss
12:57 AM
Srsly I don't matter anymore do I?Sometimes though you're worth everything I really don't know what will happen to me when one day all hopes I've been carrying for years are crashed.
Whether I'll be able to take it I don't know.
What's best for me, what I should do next. Tell me.
Only if I knew what the future holds.
Come&go
Friday, January 7, 2011, 3:49 PM
Screw maths test today.If I pass = confirm mark wrong cause I only did 34marks out of 100 -.-
Oh well, I don't feel unhappy or anything since I came relaxed prepared to fail~
But for some reason was so nervous this morning that I farted thrice in the train hahaha & almost vomited ): Cold sweat like nobody's business almost fainted!
First day of school fear or smth? ._.
I realise I feel so much more comfortable talking/sleeping/being close w guys etc like won't shy or weird lol k random.
It's just weird sleeping/being too close esp physically w girls, even close ones?!
Damn now I think I'm really a boy in a girl's bodeh hahaha
Almost broke down thinking too much ytd.
I hate thinking soo much feeling all complicated & not even knowing who I am, what I want.
Hate such crap/htht coming in before a test/exam affecting me make me can't study the whole night!
And no no one will understand what I'm thinking/feeling cause even I myself isn't sure. -.-
And I'm easy-going, only if you don't mean a thing.
If you do I'll tend to expect more & get more xiaoqi I don't likee ):
That's why almost all friends say I'm easy-going cause they don't mean much to me! I won't even be bothered/angry about anything they do ._.
Oh and I'm kinda happy cause I feel the momentum coming in the study mood and everything is coming back & once it does I won't stop till after A's I promise ^^
Ok going Nex to get belated x'mas presents I know its damn belated!!
Don't know why everytime you're back I feel so happaye heh.
):
Wednesday, January 5, 2011, 11:09 PM
Tried so hard to hold back my tears when watching today's Autumn's Concerto cause my mum was beside ._.Why does this show seem to illustrate my life so much ):
Parents are forever doing selfish things they presume are best for their child without even knowing what their child really wants.. Then they regret.
And the worst thing that follows after is when even the child forces herself to believe in what she don't
& give up on the one she really loves..
I don't want to only follow my heart when it's too late.
I don't want to spend my whole life regretting....
God tell me what to do
Tuesday, January 4, 2011, 11:16 PM
Headache backache everywhere acheache ):Stupid fat fang talktalktalk so noisy at library & we didn't study for fri's maths test like supposed to!! ):
I'm supposed to study 12hours a day from today till thurs to complete the 8 chapters now 1day's gone! Die!
Head so pain now wanna study but feel like sleeping howw
I don't want retest I don't want just pass alsoo D:
Tell me if I should go school tmrw?!
The 2hr physics lecture is really.... useless -.-
Don't know why everytime I htht only when a test is near ._.
But honestly, IN GENERAL, it's these talks that clears misunderstandings I have within & strengthen the friendship.
I likeee! ^^
Almost broke down just now cause of some stuff. But nvm, I guess it's normal to feel this way & I can't control it.
-
To have something be done, you must want it yourself. I can't want it for you.
It was a happy thing.
And it still is, at least to me.
Unless it's not me zzzzzzzzzzz
Why emo don't emo ):
Monday, January 3, 2011, 11:26 PM
TVXQ Keep your head down MV out!!!Haha k la I know you sure know & I don't even care about them much Lol ok just put for fun so you don't needa find??? Hahaha don't go crazayee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djJb5iSL0Do&feature=player_embedded
Sinking deeper
10:29 PM
Arghz so wanted to buy you that super hugee Jaejoong calendar at bishan's comics connections but ):And there's a tvxq tumbler there! And it's the 5 of them!! :DAnw just back from chalet! Tired max but I shall ton till 1.
Stupid freaking menses had to come & I can't go WWW which I've been looking forward too ):<
I'm so so dead I'm getting so addicted to bridge that these 2 nights whenever I close my eyes all I see are cards and trumps & all my dreams are about me trumping people's cards WTF WHAT'S WRONG!
I'm so gonna delete my viwawa account if I can't control myself -.-
At this rate once I start gambling at a casino at 21 I swear I'll end up a gambler ._.
Sighh boringz have to go back to school at 1 for 2hr physics lecture tmrw till fri ):
Luckily I don't have to go for chem hehee :D
Shall stay in school till 6 to do maths or I'll just sleep like a pig again if I come home.
-
Maybe we're too alike & too different in our perspectives that it's impossible not to have conflicts, and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with you alrdy.
Seriously, sometimes I feel made use of and FUCKING DISRESPECTED LIKE A DOG.
How many times I've swallowed in all my anger to control myself not to flare at you just for the sake of our friendship.
With the kind of 'respect' you give me, srsly I don't know if I can be this nice anymore.
Sunday, January 2, 2011, 4:20 AM
There you'll be - Faithhillhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmxILVVoRGA&translated=1
Made me almost tear a little ):
The world behind my wall
2:56 AM
Oops late new year posttyped at 30th de but cause of sleepovers so could only post today D:
Anw YOOHOOOOOO the new year is here!!
2010 hasn't been exactly a good/bad year, but definitely filled w regrets which are fortunately reversible since they're mostly related to studies.
2011's resolutions were all deeply thought, so I'll really work towards accomplishing every single one of them.
Under many many categories...... (must be all rounder yknw HAHA)
1) Stop my viwawa bridge addiction (Urgent)
2) Spend 3-4hours a day studying
3) Do all homework on time
4) No last minute revisions
5) Watch eng/chi news everyday.
6) Start real mugging for A's latest April
7) All As for A's (Hope chi/pw As first :/ )
8) Swimming/gym twice a week
9) Train hard in vb
10) Run a 10km marathon by this year!
11) Pass piano theory
12) Finish learning that 5songs
13) Learn dancing by Nov!
14) Sleep early, eat fruits&veg, follow yr 10rules!! Cause I feel my body's failing alrdy ):
15) Anger management (Damn hard -.-)
16) Treasure every single one in my life
17) Start being filial to my parents alrdy ):
18) Go SouthAfrica or some countries to help the poor lil kids after A's woo excited!
19) Ttyamy.
20) Do something & dian ge every 26th(:
That should be all?
Actually the priorities are 100% effort in studies, keep healthy, & have time to surprise someone now & then for motivation for A's, that's all(:
Not much time this year to do anything new too, can foresee 80% of 2011 will be to studies ):
So I hope it'll be a better year for everyone! And everyone else who's taking A's this year....
Good luck to us ._.
It won't be a fun year for sure, unless you find studying fun hahaha but don't ever give up k!
Srsly wtf is wrong w my back lately.
From minor aches only when I ton to excruciating pains every second I'm awake now
Didn't bother much about it previously but now the pain totally makes me break down ):
Worse I've no time to see a doc & my piano teacher & aunt said they had friends w the same problem & ended up undergoing operations to shift back their bone ahhh I don't wannnnt )):
I'm trying to stop myself from being too competitive or stressed up whenever I hear people studying
but then again, I'm digging my own grave this way.
If nothing makes me stress I won't even have a little bit motivation to study wts!
At least competition gives me 15% motivation?
So too bad I've no choice I just need that competitive self, just for this crucial year or I'll end up like O's.
I can't give a fuck whoever's unhappy with me if I chiong anymore k. If they're my friends they should understand.. that I need this for my grades.
Shall do a little maths before I sleep & chalet tmrw till 4th yaye!
Excited max! Kim's mad she's excited till she can't sleep Lol!
I know who really cares.
Time to stop prioritising those who ain't worth.
We know
Friday, December 31, 2010, 12:26 AM
There's a reason why I love you this much, why I hold on for so long, why I can never forget you.
I know how you still feel towards me, but I'm not oblivious of the situation too.
It's just.. I don't know what the ending will be, but I know you're worth everything.
Anger management please
12:24 AM
Don't know why I feel so heavy-hearted suddenly.Cause of studies? Or cause I was pissed at some stuff? Cause of some people? Or cause I'll miss KBS cause of piano? Lol
I don't even know the reason.
But trust me, towards you I've already controlled my anger many many times which I don't for others,
and if that sentence comes out from you again I don't know what will happen k
It's not that I wanna be like this, so outta control. But I just need to crash/break things whenever someone agitates/pisses me off to let out my anger, or else if I don't I get angrier every passing second. -.-
Srsly luckily I think I'm considered quite easy-going, or else if every little thing makes me angry I would have broke everything haha
But I will never hurt my girl!!!!!!! Lol k lame random -.-
I wanna watch KBS ):
I must watch the recorded one at cf's soon I don't care maths!!!!!!
Sometimes although I consider quite a few people my 'best friends'
but to tell the truth, when something happens to me,
I don't think any of these 'best friends' will be 100% there, probably only 1 or 2 will for just awhile?
Honestly which friend would really care, everyone's selfish
Yet the only one who'll wholeheartedly be there can't.
Damn it sucks to not know a thing about you anymore..